Pearl Élite Four
Ok, so I haven’t been posting much. It’s because I’ve been spending a fair bit of time over at Bulbagarden, where I go by the name ルカリオ. Anyway, with only one more Pokémon to get in Diamond to complete my Pokédex of 490, I had no end of trouble in capturing a Magby with Magmarizer. There is an 8% (1/12.5) chance of finding a Magby, and a 5% (1/20) chance of finding one with a Magmarizer in Diamond (according to Marriland’s excellent FAQ). Now, 1/12.5 × 1/20 = 1/250, so the odds are that in 250 encounters, I should find a Magby with a Magmarizer. Final tally: 803 encounters, 40 Magbys (Magbies?), 0 Magmarizers. So I gave up and started playing Pearl.
I transferred over the dream team from Diamond (see below), but as soon as I got to Solaceon, I bred Pokémon native to my Pearl game, namely a new Growlithe and Rioru. Shinx (now a Luxray, called Pikameowsy for being female) was my other major Pokémon. It took me a mere 32 hours to get to the Élite Four, including time taken to grind Rukario, Pikameowth, Emporeon, and Uindi (Arcanine) to level 70+. In Diamond, it took over 40 hours of grinding, after I reached the Pokémon League, to get my Pokémon to this level. (Because levels are based largely on six formulae all with the order of a cubic equation, you need 2^3, or eight times the experience points in order to double a Pokémon’s level.) With a fire Pokémon on my side, Bronzong was toast. And as that fire Pokémon is THE Legendary Dog, it has the highest stats of any normally-capturable Pokémon, rivalling the legendary cats. So no exciting tale of trial to report here.
But it took me just FIVE Magbys to find one with a Magmarizer, so now I have all 490 Pokémon!!! Ok, Magby was 489th, I had left that turd for last.
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Pokémon Diamond—The Élite Four
Ok. This was quite a challenging series of battles, especially considering as I was completely unprepared for it. Half asleep, I was returning from levelling up Pokémon in Victory Road, and wandered straight into the Élite Four’s rooms. Oh well, I figured, I had little to lose except about a half hour of levelling up.
So, my team consisted of: Pikameowth, a level 71 Luxray, Rukario (level 70), Emporeon (level 70), Golem (level 70), Staraptor (level 50), and AYR (level 50).
Despite having four level 70+ Pokémon, this was still challenging. Their Poké’mon have enhanced speed, and “priority” attacks, enabling them to get in a hit first. And I had insufficient healing supplies. Their Pokémon also have moves that you won’t expect, for example Flint’s Infernape with Thunderpunch, which puts any water (non-ground) Pokémon at a disadvantage, and certainly made mincemeat of Emporeon. Unfortunately for Infernape (and fortunately for me), the attack only knocked off about one-third of Emporeon’s HP.
Before this, Aaron and Bertha weren’t too difficult, however Aaron’s Vespiquen managed to wipe out Golem’s PPs for Stone Edge, with a combination of Golem missing and Vespiquen’s Pressure ability. Those 120-damage 80-accuracy moves seem to have their accuracy reduced in Élite Four battles; I should have learned my lesson ever since Charizard’s Fire Spin way back in Blue.
Lucian’s Bronzong was another difficult one, its Steel and Psychic type made it invincible against Poison, super-resistant against Psychic, and resistant against Normal, Grass, Ice, Flying, Rock, Dragon, and Steel. Its only weaknesses were to Fire and Ground. But wait… it has the Levitate ability, making it invincible against Ground, making its only weakness against Fire. And as we know, Fire in Shinou is rarer than hens’ teeth (Combusken’s teeth even).
Cynthia, the Champion, was a real challenge. Her first Pokémon is a level 61 Spiritomb. Its Ghost/Dark type has no weakness at all! And, Emporeon’s Hydro Pump missed. Twice. With Spiritomb’s Pressure ability, this wiped out four PPs, rendering that attack useless. (One can live in hope that one of these attacks may eventually succeed. Naaah.) However, one Surf took it out. Next up was the toughest Pokémon, a level 66 Garchomp, so out came Rukario. His Dragon Pulse took down Garchomp to a sliver of HP, but one Earthquake from Garchomp managed to OHKO Rukario. RIP. That left me with Pikameowth’s electric attacks to struggle against her Rukario. In the end, all I could do was use Pikameowth to stall whilst I Max-Revived my Rukario, who ended up knocking out hers with Aura Sphere. Another one OHKO’d her Gastrodon, and Pikameowth came back for a one-hit Discharge against Milotic. That left only her level 60 Roserade. By this time, most of my Pokémon were weakened, and the Roserade has speed, enabling it to wipe out the slivers of HP on any of my Pokémon. Emporeon, dead, his Drill Peck failing to come off in time. Golem, dead. Rukario, dead. Pikameowth, dead. Staraptor, dead. Her Roserade down to a sliver. To the rescue, AYR’s Quick Attack! The last time I pulled this off was in the battle against Surge’s AOR in Yellow!!!
Victory was mine!!!
Ok, all that remained for the National Pokédex was to capture those three little pixies. Mesprit was a matter of showing up in Lake Verity and watching it escape à la Entei and friends. It still gets added to your Pokédex as having seen it. Uxie took 17 Dusk Balls to capture, but I gave up on Azelf after about ten attempts, and let it die. Its Nasty Plot takes its Special Attack stat up so high so that one hit takes the HP of any of my Pokémon down to about half, leaving me to use 2 Hyper Potions for every ball I was able to throw at it. Oh well, there’s always Pearl. I have a few unused Master Balls from my Hoenn games that I can trade across. But now, I have my dream team of newly-hatched Pokémon in Diamond to trade across to Pearl. All level 1: Growlithe, Pichu, and Rukario (all female!), and HM Bitches Skarmory and Bibarel (ok so the Bibarel is level 21). And you can trade non-Shinou Pokémon into a game before receiving the National Dex!
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The Most Pathetic Pokémon Ever… Bidoof
What is there to be said? This is pathetic. This is lame. This is crap. It’s got to be the worst Pokémon ever created. It looks like a turd with eyes and teeth. It evolves into Bibarel, which I guess is useful as an HM Slave Bitch (it can learn 6 of the 8 HMs). But you can capture a Bibarel in the Pastoria City Safari Zone (excuse me, Great Marsh), or in the wet grasslands to the west, and save yourself the pain of levelling up a Bidoof. Even the sight of a Bidoof is enough to send one into a murderous rage; I’m surprised I haven’t punctured my touch-screen by poking it so hard, wanting to kill all Bidoofs I come across. ALL BIDOOFS MUST DIE!!!
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Diamonds and Pearls
No, not the 
album!
So the games finally came out a couple of weeks ago in Europe. And I’ve been playing Diamond almost non-stop ever since. I also picked up a heavily-reduced-price copy of Mystery Dungeon Red and started playing that; I really didn’t want to go back to a Jariboy-type game after Mystery Dungeon. The visuals are absolutely stunning!!! Problems with the Pokémon, though. Not enough normal ones. Too many legendaries. Then there’s Bidoof. More on that turd later. Oh, and if you notice embedded in the image where you first get your Pokétch is an annoying yellow RAT!
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The designers must be running out of ideas…
Oh dear, I thought an electric sheep and a fire chicken (self-basting?) were bad enough. And the baby Sudowoodo (Bonsly) and Snorlax (Munchlax) were scraping the bottom of the barrel. Or so I thought. As if baby pokémon weren’t bad enough without being so dreadful. Now we have even more f***ing baby pokémon:
Pinpuku (Happiny), a baby Chansey
Mime Jr, a baby Mr Mime
Tamanta (Mantyke), a baby Mantine
Subomi (Budew), a baby Roselia
Riishan (Chingling), a baby Chimecho, and finally:
Rioru, a baby Rukario (ok so this one isn’t so bad).
What next, a baby Pinsir? A calf-like pokémon that evolves into Tauros or Miltank?
At least the evolutions aren’t so bad:
Magneton (Reakoiru) -> Jibakoiru (Magnezone)
Lickitung (Beroringa) -> Beroberuto (Lickilicky)
Rhydon (Saidon) -> Dosaidon (Rhyperior)
Electabuzz -> Erekiburu (Electivire)
Magmar (Buubaa) -> Buubaan (Magmortar)
Eevee -> Riifia and Gureishia (are we eventually going to get evolutions of Eevee into all seventeen types?) (Leafeon and Glaceon)
Porygon 2 -> Porygon Z (like Dragonball?)
Togetic -> Togekissu (as useless as that crying egg?) (Togekiss)
Aipom -> Etebousu (Ambipom)
Yanyanma -> Megayanma (Yanmega)
Murkrow (Yamikarasu) -> Donkarasu (Honchkrow)
Misdreavus (Muuma) -> Muumaaji (Mismagius)
Gligar -> Guraion (Gliscor)
Sneasel -> Weavile
Piloswine (Urimuu) -> Manmuu (Mamoswine)
Kirlia -> Erureido (an alternate evolution from a male Kirlia only) (Gallade)
Nosepass -> Dainozu (Probopass)
Roselia -> Rozureido (and with Subomii, that makes three in that sequence) (Roserade)
Dusclops -> Yonowaaru (Dusknoir)
Snorunt -> Yukimenoko (an alternate to Glalie) (Froslass)
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